It Took a Miracle

Rating/content: NC-17 for adult humor

Summary: When Stephanie was a valet for Angle. Imagine if they did more than kiss and Stephanie became pregnant

Pairing: Stephanie/ Kurt Angle

Notes: I went way back to write this one… I needed something different to write about… This one is comical too… or at least I hope

Disclaimer: I only own the story. Characters used in this story some are under contract with WWE, TNA or no one at all.

Everyone walks into the courtyard at the McMahon Mansion. “Vince, Stephanie looks absolutely radiant.” JR said as Vince frowned. JR became nervous as Vince looks in to his ears. “Is someone feeding you that crap?” Vince questioned as Linda hit him for the five millionth time that day. “Thank you, JR! I mean considering she could start showing at any time.” Linda said as Vince looked at his wife. “And who is there to hit you? I think I would rather have her marry that Canadian fool before that Olympic monkey.” Vince said as he glanced at his daughter standing next to Kurt like they were in love. Vince gagged but was okay when he noticed the bridal party.

Vince smiled as he walked over to the buffet of beauties and lost himself. He sat between Torrie and Stacy. He was oblivious to anything else as he noticed Trish and her low cut dress. He smiled as Stacy took off her stockings. Torrie, not to be undone, removed her panties. “I don’t need them anyways!” was her comment. Jackie and Ivory moved by way too much champagne jumped on the table and performed a special dance. Vince swallowed hard as Ivory moved up Jackie’s dress. Kurt paused from greeting his guest and noticed the ruckus. He moved over and about passed out as Jackie was riding Ivory like a Russian racehorse. “I think you have mistaken this for a girly show! I am an Olympic Hero and I can not allow this debauchery at my wedding.” Kurt complained. “You Suck!” raised from the crowd as everyone joined in.

Jackie and Ivory immediately moved inside the Mansion. “I know we can find somewhere else to have fun.” Ivory said as Jackie nodded. “Especially without that Olympic jackass interrupting. I mean we are the best thing happening right now!” Ivory said as they closed the door. Vince was about to join them as he noticed Triple H and his dog, Lucy. Stephanie fumed as Lucy pooped on her shoes. “HUNTER! You can’t have her here.” Stephanie said as she started to whine. “When I RSVP, I did it for me and Lucy. Did you actually think I was going to bring Joanie? I know you are loopy to think I was coming alone. I mean I am the sanest person in the world next to you. I mean of all the people to procreate with you choose Angle?” Hunter laughed his way to the buffet table and grabbed two plates.

“Can you believe that he brought his dog?” Steven said from the groomsmen table. “Hey, I would rather see the dog than anyone else from his past. I mean Chyna then Steph. He has to go up.” Test said as he noticed Lita. “Who is Lita kidding? That wrap is really a cat.” Buh-Buh said as the guys laugh. “Damn!” Faarooq said as Bradshaw finished his beer. “You think Lucy is going to attack Trigger?” Bradshaw asked as Kidman laughed. “I think Trigger is going to go after the ferret in Jericho’s pants.” Kidman pointed and all the man looked. “See, that is not right nor is it normal. Who walks around with a ferret in his pants?” Steven questioned as Faarooq spoke up. “He needs a pocket pussy, plain and simple.”

“Everyone please raise your glasses… it is time for a toast!” Shane said as everyone reached for the respective spirit of choice. “We are here to celebrate the fact that many have tried and many have failed to knock my sister up. I guess it does take Olympian sperm to travel up that wide tunnel.” Shane paused as everyone basically agreed and talked amongst himself or herself. “Umm… Shane, I will take it from here.” Vince said as he grabbed the mic. Stephanie sat and pouted. Her brother had basically called her a whore and a walking Grand Canyon. What could happen next?

“I, Vince McMahon, would like to thank all of you and your pets for coming out. We are here to welcome my new son-in-law into the family. He has accomplished many things in his career. Never did I expect that he could impregnate my very loose daughter. I mean Hunter had the 747, then before him it was Test, and then it was the wardrobe lady not to mention that limo driver we had.” Vince said as Linda looked up. “Don’t forget the cook, the maid, the accountant, the pool boy and half of Shane’s frat brothers.” Linda said before downing some Vodka.

Vince cleared his throat and raised his glass. “To Steph and Kurt! May he sign the pre-nup!” “To the pre-nup!” The crowd responded. “That was a nice toast!” Matt said as Jeff nodded. “I think retracing her sexual escapades was the best part.” “I felt like I was there!” Lita said, as her cat became entranced with Jericho’s pants. “Umm… Lita, you did go there once. You fell in remember?” Matt pointed out as Lita nodded. Jeff noticed the movement in Jericho’s pants and moved behind Matt. “Jeff, what are you doing?” Matt questioned as Jeff pointed. “You’ll see!” Matt watched as Trigger jumped at Jericho’s crotch. “LITA! Get your damn cat!” Jericho said, as the ferret became nervous and moved into the back of his pants. “Ozzy, not here! Don’t do that!” Jericho said as Trigger moved into his pants and began to fight with Ozzy. Jeff shook his head and decided to find Ivory and Jackie. “I think when animals attack is overrated!” Matt said as he moved to sit beside Gregory Helms.

“Lita, you could help! I mean your cat is in here too!” Jericho screamed as Lita reached in his pants. “I think I got the ferret!” Lita said as she pulled hard. “JESUS! That was not the ferret!” Jericho declared as he turned a shade of red. Lita paused and connected the mental image with what possibly she had grabbed. “Chris, we have to drop your pants!” Lita asserted as she undid them and they fell. Lita smiled as she reached for Trigger. “DAMN Jericho! You’re hung like a horse!” Stacy said with a smile on her face. Stephanie lowered her head and sobbed. Kurt shook his head. Vince was angry at the way Stacy ignored him. Linda laughed as she observed it all. It took a miracle!

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