Nothing Left to Lose

Distribution: Just let me know

Disclaimer: I own no one. Vince owns the superstars ~ Superstars own themselves personally. The lyrics that inspired the song are posted at the end. They are Am I losing you by Chante Moore.

Rating: R

Characters: Stevie Richards & Victoria

Summary: Victoria attempts to mend some type of relationship with Stevie

Victoria sat the desk and looked at the blank computer screen. She knew she had to do it. They needed closure. She could tell that it was killing him to be without her. Most people accused her of being conceded when she said that. Victoria only knew it was true because it was killing her to be without him.

She tried to talk to him. But when she approached him, he ignored her. He wouldn’t answer her call on his cell. She couldn’t find out his hotel room number. She had heard rumors that he had started dating someone from his past. She had to release her feelings and him from her heart. Victoria clicked the mail icon. She inserted his email. She thought of what she could place in the subject line. She sighed. It would have to come to her afterwards. She clicked in the message box and began typing.

Stevie,

I am not sure exactly how to greet you. I know you’re doing well. I wanted to do something special for you. Especially with how things ended with us. I never wanted to hurt you. It’s hard to think of something special to do to make up for breaking your heart and betraying you. I decided to write you and express to you what the past months have truly and honestly meant to me.

Victoria leaned back in the chair. Could she really do this? Could she summarize in an email what he meant to her? Victoria sighed and walked to buy a drink. She assured herself that she could do this. An email was her only option to let him know that she still cared for him. She chose her drink and slowly walked back to her room. She pulled her chair out and sat down. She pulled her chair out and sat down. She picked up her thoughts again.

You came into my life as a professional partner. But our partnership developed into a relationship. I couldn’t believe it happened. I didn’t believe in the meaning of relationship because they were not worth it. You changed my view on that and what love really is. After our first introduction I knew I wanted you in my life. I wanted us to at least be friends. But as time went on, I began to care for you. I began to love you for whom you are. You are so open and hold nothing back. You told me about your family and previous relationships. You helped me to be just as open with you about my past. You cared and supported me. You listened when no one would. You comforted me when it felt like the world was closing in on me.

You made waking up in the morning worth it. I felt so safe in your arms and your heart played a song that mine memorized. I even loved you when you were being an asswhole to me. I love how you are constantly changing and improving yourself. You are willing to try anything and take chances. You never accept defeat and your spirit shall never be tamed.

Victoria paused as her eyes burned. She promised herself that she would not cry. She had thought through her words and how she wanted him to know it. She wiped her eyes and continued.

You helped me find my voice and learn to think for myself. I realized that in the end, I’m all I have.

Thank you for helping me to stand taller, fight a little harder and live like there is no tomorrow. I often sit and think about my actions. I was unsure of my feelings. I never thought that you would turn to anyone else. I always thought you were mine.

When I learned that you had spent the night with Scottie. I felt so worthless and incomplete. Everything you said to me became null and void. I was vulnerable and just wanted to fell complete and worthy again.

But the purpose of this email is to release you. I don’t want any harsh feelings between us. I realize that we betrayed each other. We can’t expect each other to get over that right now. I wish I could give you back to you all that you have given to me. It would take me nearly a day before eternity. Through all the special times we’ve shared. You’ve helped me learn to listen, love and care. All the hard time we’ve lasted through helped to show what we had was true. I’ll always have a flame that burns in my heart for you.

Love you always

Toria

Victoria proofread the email. She corrected some misspelled words. She contemplated taking out some things but changed her mind. It was how she felt and she could not edit her feelings. She looked at the subject line and decided on placing something there. She realized what she was doing and the risk she was taking. She typed it in and clicked send. She smiled sadly the subject line was true. She had nothing left to loose.

*********************

Am I Losing You?

(Chante Moore / Simon a. law / Ross Anderson / Vaneta Thompson)

You've got my heart in your hand,
I gave it to you I know, I understand,
I'm strong you know, that's how I am,
Tell me the truth, I’ll take it like a man.
Don't want you to leave me, and I don't wanna leave you,
Baby don't you be cruel, with your icy cool, cool, cool.

Each day that passes, I smile to cover the pain,
When I remove my disguises, I came back to the same ole' thing,
Can't shake this feelin', something's going on inside of you,
I don't know what to do.

Baby look me in my eyes, no need to tell me lies,
am I losing you?
I feel there's something I can't see, is it inside of me,
or am I losing you?

I know you need your time alone,
I need my time to call my own,
I love the precious times we shared,
When I need you most, sometimes you're not there.
Though absence makes the heart grow fonder,
Out of sight could be out of mind,
my love should never make you wander,
and you never find another love like mine.

Each day that passes, I cry because I’m in pain,
When I remove my disguises, I came back to the same ole' thing,
Can't shake this feelin', baby am I playing the fool,
I don't know what to do.

Baby look me in my eyes, no need to tell me lies,
am I losing you?
I feel there's something I can't see, is it inside of me,
or am I losing you?

Tell me what to do,
Just to get through to you,
Baby I can take the truth,
Am I losing you?
Baby you can say it anything is alright with me,
you know I’ll always be,
here for you.

Baby look me in my eyes, no need to tell me lies,
am I losing you?
I feel there's something I can't see, is it inside of me,
or am I losing you?

Tell me what to do (tell me what to do),
Just to get through to you (just to get through to you),
Baby I can take the truth,
Am I losing you?
Baby you can say it anything is alright with me,
you know I’ll always be,
here for you.
Baby you can say it anything is alright with me,
you know I’ll always be,
here for you.

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